Should I trust a Pakistani man for marrying?

Being a foreigner girl, should you trust a Pakistani man you are dating or considering marrying? We have tried to answer it below.

• 6 problems of marrying a Pakistani girl

1. Pakistani mother in law

She will be the queen of everything in the house and will be most of the time referred to as “Ammi Jaan”.

You should discuss matters related to parents’ respect with a Pakistani man and if you find him praising his mother too much, get the hell out of there.

There is a difference between respecting parents and worshipping parents. Most Pakistani men are in the second category.

2. Compromise on everything

Before trusting a Pakistani man to marry, keep in mind that Pakistani girls are brought up in a way that they are ready to compromise on many things.

Similarly, Pakistani men are also programmed as non-compromising. For example, cooking food remains a wife’s responsibility even if she is a working woman.

3. Dowry System

If you are a foreigner marrying a Pakistani man, it would not be that relevant. However, you should still know that it is quite normal in Pakistan to receive a huge amount of dowry from the parents of the bride.

4. No Separation

Before trusting a Pakistani man to marry, you should ask if you are going to live in a combined family or alone. Combined family means that you will truly never know what privacy is like.

5. No male friends

Being a foreigner if you are marrying a Pakistani man, you should check his behavior when you mingle with your male friends. In Pakistani culture, it is highly unlikely for a woman to have boys as a friend.

6. Family planning? What?

Even if you have married a Pakistani man, don’t be too quick in planning for children. Many foreigners who got married to Pakistani men say that their husbands change once they get pregnant.

The issues related to pregnancy are Taboo in Pakistan and therefore, most men don’t even know how to tackle mood swings. Referring to Point 2, Pakistani women are so compromising that they accept it without complaining.

7. No Casual Dresses

God forbids it, if you are living in a combined family setup (point 4), you will be expected to be dignified and proper always. You must instantly grow up and stop wearing those pajamas and t-shirts you normally would wear around the house. 

8. No rights in Property

Before trusting a Pakistani man to marry, check if the property he owns is in his name or in the name of his parents/grandparents because you will not have any right to any of your husband’s inheritance after his death.

9. You are a Housemaid

You will be expected to do all the household chores without any help from your Pakistani man. Helping around the house is extremely harmful to the male ego and hence men refrain from doing so. 

10. No Extramarital affair

You must do nothing which would create a suspect in the mind of a Pakistani man that you are having an affair. In Pakistan, around 450 people are killed every year in the name of honor killing for having suspicious relationships.